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ARTICLE
Creative
Writing: Using Pluperfect Tense Pluperfect
tense refers to when the writer of a story told in past tense needs to
reach further back into the past, perhaps before the story began--in other
words, a flashback. Beginner writers usually take great pains to stay
doggedly in the pluperfect until their flashback ends. This can produce
some decidedly odd writing: Jane
sighed with pleasure, remembering the evening before--a birthday
she would never forget. Mum had cooked all her favorite foods. The table
had almost groaned under the weight of all the dishes and presents, particularly
the parcel from Dad. The family hadn't even managed to start eating when
the phone had rung. It had been Dad calling from America to wish Jane
a happy birthday and ask if she had received his present. In Jane's opinion,
the news that he had finished the job and was coming home had been the
best birthday present he could possibly have given her. The whole family
had been so excited they had forgotten the time and had kept him on the
phone until the dinner had gone cold and Mum had had to reheat it. Now,
abruptly realizing she was daydreaming when she should be writing letters
of thanks to Aunts Judith and Geraldine... Although
the above is deliberately exaggerated (never mind that it's boring as
well!) it's the sort of thing often written by a beginner. Following is
a possible rewrite, although I haven't fixed the "boring" factor,
which would mean such heavy pruning I would be unable to demonstrate the
point. Jane sighed with pleasure, remembering the evening before--a birthday she would never forget. Mum had cooked all her favorite foods. The table almost groaned under the weight of all the dishes and presents, particularly the parcel from Dad. The family didn't even manage to start eating when the phone rang. It was Dad calling from America to wish Jane a happy birthday and ask if she received his present. In Jane's opinion, the news that he had finished the job and was coming home was the best present he could possibly give her. The whole family was so excited they forgot the time and kept him on the phone until the dinner went cold and Mum had to reheat it. Now, abruptly realizing she was daydreaming when she should be writing letters of thanks to Aunts Judith and Geraldine... As
you can see, the trick is to start the flashback scene with the pluperfect
and slide (almost imperceptibly) back into past tense. The reader shouldn't
even notice the time slip. If you find yourself reaching for "had
had" (as I did in the first version of this flashback) you certainly
need to revise. For further writing tips, see other links on my Site Map at http://lbarker.orcon.net.nz/sitemap.html. © L A Barker Enterprises. Laraine Anne Barker writes fantasy for young people. Visit her web site, Fantasy for Children & Young Adults, at http://lbarker.orcon.net.nz for FREE stories and novel excerpts. Sign up for the NOVELLA OF THE MONTH CLUB, absolutely FREE! |
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